AND FINALLY

The fear mantra of “If you suspect it – report it.” is obviously seeping its way deeper into the mass subconscious by the day. Not surprising when it’s broadcast on all railway station P.A.’s in between every train arrival.

Two South West trains security goons were clearly on a high state of alert when Tom ‘well you can never be totally’ Shaw, an unassuming young musician from the Southampton area plonked down on a seat by them and proceeded to write out a list of cover versions his band could play at an upcoming gig.

It only took one of fluoro-jacketed henchmen to glance over his shoulder and see Tom had jotted ‘Cigarettes and Alcohol’, ‘Shut Up And Let Me Go’, and ‘Killers’ before they sprung into heroic public defence action, forcing Tom get off the train at the next stop before grilling him in depth about the weird coded threats.

Just as well he hadn’t been planning on playing ‘Stairway to Heaven’, ‘I Wanna Live Forever’ or ‘Suicide is painless’... (insert your own song titles here – answers on a anthrax contaminated postcard to the usual address...)